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[personal profile] magog_83
This is just a post to say MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you all, and I hope you all have a wonderful day :D May Christmas Eve bring lots of dreams of snow-covered castles and Princes and their Manservants...

In the meantime, have some Christmas fic - in which Merlin and Arthur meet a Christmas Cracker.

Nadolig Llawen!

.....


“What is it?” said Arthur suspiciously.


Merlin poked it a little with one finger. “I’m not sure, but everyone has them in the future. Apparently,” he added, hushed, “it’s not Christmas without one.”


Arthur gave him A Look. He still wasn’t sure he approved of this ‘going to the future’ lark. The last time Merlin had been he had come back with a pointy purple hat and a stick that he called a ‘wand’ because “all the wizards in the future have them, Arthur.” They had yet to work out what the ‘wand’ did that Merlin couldn’t do already, and the hat was just ridiculous and had a tendency to get knocked off by low doorframes – so really, Arthur was going to need more convincing. “Well?” he said, irritably, “what are we supposed to do with it?”


Merlin picked it up, carefully, and examined it from all angles before he said, “I think we’re both supposed to pull on it – at the same time I mean – and see who wins—”


Arthur scoffed, “I will, of course.”


Merlin stuck his tongue out before he continued, “and there’s a reward inside.”


Arthur peered at the strange object, “It can’t be a very big reward.”


“Unless it’s magic?” Merlin suggested optimistically. “In the future I’ve seen people and animals all moving around in little boxes. They can do anything there.”


Arthur looked a bit more impressed. “All right, give me the other end then.”


Merlin picked up the object and offered Arthur one end as he took the other. Then he took a deep breath. “Ready?”


“Of course I’m ready!” Arthur snapped, frowning in concentration.


“Ok… Pull!”


They both yanked hard at the object which, to their shock, exploded with a loud crack and a smell of burning – causing them both to drop it and leap backwards in alarm.


There was a brief silence. Then,


“I think my half is bigger,” Arthur said, smugly.


Merlin absolutely did not pout. “You pulled it before I was ready!”


“It’s not my fault you don’t have my lightning-fast reflexes, Merlin.”


“Cheat.”


“Weakling.”


Merlin pointedly turned one of Arthur’s pillows into a chicken and Arthur decided to change the subject. “So,” he said, looking at his half a little dubiously, “I suppose we should find out what’s inside?”


“I’m sure I don’t care,” muttered Merlin, maintaining his sulk for eight seconds before his curiosity won out.


Arthur picked up his piece of the object and gave it a small shake. Then he reached inside and pulled out the first item.


“What’s that?” said Merlin, picking up what looked like a brightly coloured wad of paper.


Arthur took it out of his hands and turned it over, then unfolded it to reveal… “A crown!”


Merlin looked impressed. “It must be magic! It knew you were the winner!”


Arthur wasn’t quite so impressed. It was a bit of a floppy crown, and he wasn’t sure his father would approve of pink. He gave it to Merlin, “Here, you might as well have it. I’ve already got one.”


Merlin’s eyes widened as he took the crown reverently and then jammed it on his head, where it promptly slid down a little on one side, giving Merlin a faintly jaunty air. “What else has it given you?” Merlin asked excitedly.


Arthur pulled out a small piece of paper and read aloud, “What’s sweet and swings through the jungle?”


Merlin looked confused. “Is it a riddle? Let me see…” He came round the table to stand next to Arthur, peering at the slip of paper over his shoulder.


Arthur turned the paper over, “It says here, Answer – Tarzipan.”


They both stared at the small and very neat writing.


“I don’t get it,” said Merlin after a moment.


“What’s a jungle?” said Arthur.


They decided to leave the slip of paper aside for now and move on to the last item.


Which proved to be a mistake.


“Is that a—” Merlin began, sounding far too gleeful before Arthur cut him off.


“I think it must be some kind of weapon!” he said, very firmly and not at all mortified.


“Are you sure?” said Merlin, trying to take it out of Arthur's hands, but Arthur quickly hid it behind his back, “because it looks like a pretend moustache.”


Arthur fixed him with his most intimidating glare. Merlin failed to look intimidated.


“It’s a very nice moustache,” he said, face pink with the effort of suppressing his mirth, “Very, er, distinguished.”


Arthur shoved the thing back into the tube it had come out of. “I can’t imagine why it would think I’d want that.” He said, in a tone that suggested the conversation was over.


“Maybe it saw the one you tried to grow last month?” said Merlin, helpfully.


“That was not a moustache!” said Arthur at once.


“Well, no,” said Merlin, “I think we were all in agreement there.”


Arthur plonked down on his favourite chair and glared at the fire. “I don’t think this ‘future’ place is all that clever you know,” he glanced at Merlin. “And your crown looks silly.”


After a moment Merlin hoisted himself up onto the table, drumming his heels against the table leg, and adjusting his crown, tongue caught between his teeth in concentration. Then he said, very casually, “I didn’t really like it anyway.”


“I think you’ve made your point, Merlin,” said Arthur, trying not to sound hurt (because he wasn’t).


“No,” said Merlin, and when Arthur turned to look he seemed to be examining the table top very closely, “I mean, I didn’t think it suited you. I think you, you know,” he waved a vague hand, “look better without it.”


“Oh,” said Arthur, considering. It had been very itchy, it was true, and he supposed, if pushed, that it was nice not to have his manservant avert his eyes in horror everytime he walked into a room now. Not that that sort of thing ever affected his decisions. “Well, that’s all right then,” he said magnanimously. Then he cast another critical eye over Merlin’s flushed face and added, “Your crown looks better like that.”


Merlin beamed. “King Merlin the First?”


Arthur snorted. “King Merlin the Only - there wouldn’t be a kingdom left to inherit by the time you’d finished.”


Merlin made a face at him and Arthur settled back, glad that bit of excitement was over for the evening.


Then Merlin said, “Oh! I forgot, I got something else too.” Arthur groaned as Merlin pulled a long thin tube from the inside of his jacket. “They said it was a work of fire! Or a firework, or something like that.”


Arthur took it from him and looked at it closely. “And what do we do with this one?” he said, sounding resigned.


Merlin shrugged, “I suppose we throw it in the fire, as it’s a firework. Shall we try it in the Great Hall? The fireplace is bigger there.”


“Are you sure this one is safe?” said Arthur.


Merlin looked wounded. “I’m almost sure. And anyway, this is me, Arthur.”


Arthur sighed. That was rather what he was afraid of.


The End.

Date: 2009-12-24 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] themadlurker.livejournal.com
This kills me! Their bewilderment at the crown and the riddle and then the mocking about the moustache! ♥

Date: 2009-12-24 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magog-83.livejournal.com
Thank you!! I'm glad you enjoyed it, it must have been terribly confusing for them both :D :D

Hope you're having a good holiday so far!

Date: 2009-12-24 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katzgalore.livejournal.com
Aw, that was adorable. Man, I cannot stop saying that word lately in relation to all things Merlin! Both puzzled but of course Arthur forges ahead. Loved the mention of the moustache, because yeah, it should not be on that face, regardless of the incarnation. Still love ya tho Bradley :)

I just read your Geoffrey the cat and Merlin Emrys' biggest fan stories which were hilarious. Thought I'd comment here together with seasons greetings.

Arthur fanboying Merlin was a neat twist and totally fits cos Bradley is clearly such a fanboy in real life. Silly Geoffrey, every time you went to 'keep tabs' on Merlin to stop him getting at you and your Keeper you actually brought them together when Arthur had to come and find you! Still, he is a very awesome cat and I'm sure will soon enjoy having two humans to reign supreme over rather than just one :D

Anyway, I am coming out of lurkerdom to wish everyone that I often talk to on LJ a Merry Christmas! Have a great day! I have already started on the Cadburys Roses so it's good (and porky!) times ahead... :)

Date: 2009-12-27 05:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magog-83.livejournal.com
Oops! I somehow missed your comment :) Thank you, as ever - I'm happy you enjoyed them all, I've been strangely productive these last couple of months. I only hope it lasts into 2010!!

Yes, poor Geoffrey should have thought his plan through a little more. I bet Merlin and Arthur will spend the rest of their lives telling the story of how Arthur's cat got them together... :D

I hope you have recovered from all the Roses? I've been stuffing myself with Ferrero Rochers and Quality Street so I suspect some porky times are looming for me too...

Date: 2009-12-26 01:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capricornucopia.livejournal.com
I actually went "Oh no!" out loud and cringed when I read the bit about the fireworks and where they wanted to put them. XD Arthur is not going to be happy, but, really, he should know better than to trust Merlin. ;)

Merry Christmas! :D

Date: 2009-12-26 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magog-83.livejournal.com
I don't blame you! I cannot see that going well... Although I'm sure both will make it out unsinged - after the cracker explosion Arthur will make sure Merlin throws it in from far back, just in case :D

Merry Christmas to you too!!

Date: 2009-12-27 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gonrie.livejournal.com
That was really funny!!
Though... I still don't know what is the object they each pulled on? XS

Date: 2009-12-28 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magog-83.livejournal.com
:D It was a christmas cracker!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_cracker

And, bizarrely, when I pulled one on Christmas Eve, I actually got a plastic moustache!! Apparently Morgana is not the only Seer... ;)

Date: 2009-12-28 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gonrie.livejournal.com
LOL!
Now that I've seen it from your link, I can say I've never pulled on one before (or remembered such thing existed!)
I was thinking about a small pigna but of course... I was pretty sure it wasn't what you were talking about
...though it *is* kinda the same thing XD

Lucky you! I'd like to forsee my exams questions if I could. Hopefully it won't remind a Christmas cracker seer ability in your case
XD

Date: 2010-01-01 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magog-83.livejournal.com
I wish you could too! I think that would be a lovely seeing ability to have :D

Plus, I think it is a little like a pigna, so you probably have come close to a cracker after all!

Date: 2009-12-29 11:55 pm (UTC)
ext_29545: by [info]keeraa (Default)
From: [identity profile] opusnone.livejournal.com
Adorable. And sadly, I can completely relate to their befuddlement in their introduction to the ever mysterious and exotic Christmas cracker.

Date: 2010-01-01 11:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magog-83.livejournal.com
I fear they will forever be Mysterious and Exotic to Merlin and Arthur :D

I hope you get to experience the joy of the Christmas cracker before long!! And thank you for your comment :)

Date: 2010-05-29 08:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamie15.livejournal.com
Uh-oh ... I hope they're not going to do too much damage with those fireworks. That's going to leave a mark ... I wonder if Arthur will ever let Merlin go back to the future after this =).

I was laughing so hard when they read that riddle/joke. Of course they wouldn't know what a jungle is ... and stupid me was thinking about how they wouldn't get the Tarzan reference XD. Ah, well.

Date: 2011-08-09 01:58 am (UTC)
tama_abi: (colin island)
From: [personal profile] tama_abi
XDDDDDDDD The firework in the Great Hall <33333

Thank you!!

Date: 2013-08-14 07:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] matchboximpala.livejournal.com
So funny! My family has Christmas crackers each year (even though we live in the U.S.) and my reaction to them is about the same as Arthur's and Merlin's.

I would have loved to see their reaction to the fireworks.

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