Romance Novel Snark

[magog_83]

Some Tuesday morning amusement for you from Smart Bitches Read Trashy Novels.

Today I was reading about the Joys of Metaphor in their (brief) review of the wonderfully titled Walkin Dusty Roads, and yes, in case you were wondering, the hero's name IS 'Dusty Roads.' Whether the heroine 'walks' him or not is something I do not wish to speculate on.

Here is my favourite quote :D

Honey would sometimes think of Dusty, and it was like she twisted a dial and opened a steel door to a safe in her heart where she kept her grandest jewels —bittersweet memories, surrounded by a poignant moat. Some were vivid as fallen red bougainvillea petals, while others drifted by aimlessly, as vague and faded as old photographs in a dark flooded cellar.

I don't know about you, but I keep all my memories behind a Poignant Moat and a Rampart of Regret, and if they persist in drifting about aimlessly I think very seriously about the effectiveness of the metaphorical steel door in my chest cavity.

And now back to work, hope everyone is having a good Tuesday!

Comments

[entangled-now.livejournal.com]

I don't know about you, but I keep all my memories behind a Poignant Moat and a Rampart of Regret, and if they persist in drifting about aimlessly I think very seriously about the effectiveness of the metaphorical steel door in my chest cavity.

You win everything ♥

[magog-83.livejournal.com]

<3 Everyone should have their own Poignant Moat, what is life without one?

[opusnone.livejournal.com]

Damn those Ramparts of Regret!!! Made slippery by the fallen red bougainvillea petals of remorseful reminiscence.

Happy Tuesday.

[magog-83.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha You have to watch out for those slippery petals of remorseful reminiscence, lest you skid right into the poignant moat :D :D

Hope your Tuesday was a productive one!!

[mordyn4]

All of that and the characters are named Dusty and Honey?

Dirty Candy
Filthy Sweets
Muddy Tart

No idea where I was going with that.

[magog-83.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what the author was thinking, but I feel sure that Dirty Candy, Filthy Sweets and Muddy Tart are also stars of their own romance novels somewhere, along with that Regency Romance I read when I was 14 starring Raven, the dashing hero who'd lived with a Native American tribe AND pretty much single-handedly won the Napoleonic Wars for Britain.

What a guy ::swoons::

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

I, literal minded person that I am, got stuck at wondering whether you could even see the old photographs if you were in a dark flooded cellar.

[magog-83.livejournal.com]

It IS a fair question. Especially when they're also vague and faded :/ Maybe she had Nostalgic Nightvision?!?

[dingogrrl.livejournal.com]

Pfft, I don't know how anyone can expect to keep their bittersweet memories secure without a minimum of a dozen man-eating Crocodiles of Lament swimming in their poignant moat.