![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
magog_83For Ven for being all round awesome :D
Based on some very silly conversations about giant squids and ancient clams, and featuring Barnacle Merlin and Arthur the Whale from 'Destiny: The Soggy Part'
606 words, and a lot of crack.
....
As one of the Lords of the Sea, not to mention a Crown Prince, Arthur was most put out to discover he was not the largest creature in the ocean.
“Are you sure?” he said, eating some passing plankton.
“Definitely,” said Merlin the Barnacle, wafting back up to him and reattaching himself. “I saw him with my own eyes.”
“Barnacles don’t have eyes,” Arthur pointed out.
“Magical barnacles do,” said Merlin the Barnacle with a certain degree of satisfaction.
Arthur ignored that. “Anyway, I don’t believe you. Everyone knows whales are the biggest.”
“Enormo-squid trumps whale.”
Arthur swivelled one incredulous eye round to where Merlin the Most Irritating Barnacle in the Whole Wide Sea (quite possibly the WORLD) was regarding him smugly. “What sort of ridiculous name is enormo-squid?!”
“Well, no-one calls him enormo-squid, obviously.”
“What do they call him then?”
“Geoff.”
“Geoff? You can’t call a squid, Geoff!”
Merlin snorted. Since he was a magical barnacle, that mostly involved a lot of bubbles. “Says Arthur the Whale.”
“Arthur is a perfectly dignified name for a whale. It conveys a certain sense of kingliness and—”
“Blubber?”
“What?” snapped Arthur the Whale.
“Nothing.”
Arthur the Whale glared at Merlin as best he could. He was glaring from his other eye too, but Merlin couldn’t see that. “I’m sure there are other barnacles who would think it an honour to travel around with me, you know.”
“Well maybe you could call for them the next time you get jammed in a crevasse and have to be reversed out.”
“That happened once!”
Merlin the Barnacle blew a raspberry. “Three times and you know it.”
“I think that last gap had got smaller,” Arthur said, not sulking in the slightest.
“Or someone had been eating all the Plankton.”
“That’s treason!”
“No it isn’t, it’s fact. I do a complete circuit of you every other Tuesday and it’s becoming really quite exhausting.”
Arthur tried to sneakily look at himself, but just ended up going in a circle because his neck didn’t bend that way. “I suppose Geoff is all muscle and...” Actually Arthur wasn’t sure what an enormo-squid might look like, he’d only ever seen small ones. “And tentacles,” he finished, since he definitely remembered tentacles.
“Well,” said Merlin, considering, “he is very streamlined.”
Arthur would have batted Merlin with a fin, but apparently his fin wasn’t long enough. There were many trials to being a Lord of the Sea. “Maybe you should go and annoy him then.”
“Maybe I should.”
“I’m sure I don’t care.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“I don’t!” Some more plankton drifted by, but Arthur just glared at it.
“Actually Geoff wants to meet you.”
“Well I don’t want to meet him!”
“He says he’s heard great things about you.”
There was a lengthy pause. “...Really?”
“So he says,” said Merlin, wafting himself down to give Arthur a soothing rub on his underbelly (he knew Arthur liked that, even if he pretended he didn’t). “I can’t imagine where from.”
If Arthur had been human, and not a whale, he would have sniffed. “There are plenty of fish who appreciate me.”
“Geoff was very impressed by your Quest for the Giant Clam,” said Merlin, apropos of nothing at all.
Some more plankton drifted by and this time Arthur ate some, thoughtfully. He was starting to think this Geoff fellow didn’t sound so bad after all. “Maybe I should meet him,” he offered magnanimously.
“What a good idea,” said Merlin.
“But I still don’t think he’s bigger,” Arthur said, firmly.
“Not in the size of his head, obviously,” said Merlin, as they set out once more.
The End.
Based on some very silly conversations about giant squids and ancient clams, and featuring Barnacle Merlin and Arthur the Whale from 'Destiny: The Soggy Part'
606 words, and a lot of crack.
....
As one of the Lords of the Sea, not to mention a Crown Prince, Arthur was most put out to discover he was not the largest creature in the ocean.
“Are you sure?” he said, eating some passing plankton.
“Definitely,” said Merlin the Barnacle, wafting back up to him and reattaching himself. “I saw him with my own eyes.”
“Barnacles don’t have eyes,” Arthur pointed out.
“Magical barnacles do,” said Merlin the Barnacle with a certain degree of satisfaction.
Arthur ignored that. “Anyway, I don’t believe you. Everyone knows whales are the biggest.”
“Enormo-squid trumps whale.”
Arthur swivelled one incredulous eye round to where Merlin the Most Irritating Barnacle in the Whole Wide Sea (quite possibly the WORLD) was regarding him smugly. “What sort of ridiculous name is enormo-squid?!”
“Well, no-one calls him enormo-squid, obviously.”
“What do they call him then?”
“Geoff.”
“Geoff? You can’t call a squid, Geoff!”
Merlin snorted. Since he was a magical barnacle, that mostly involved a lot of bubbles. “Says Arthur the Whale.”
“Arthur is a perfectly dignified name for a whale. It conveys a certain sense of kingliness and—”
“Blubber?”
“What?” snapped Arthur the Whale.
“Nothing.”
Arthur the Whale glared at Merlin as best he could. He was glaring from his other eye too, but Merlin couldn’t see that. “I’m sure there are other barnacles who would think it an honour to travel around with me, you know.”
“Well maybe you could call for them the next time you get jammed in a crevasse and have to be reversed out.”
“That happened once!”
Merlin the Barnacle blew a raspberry. “Three times and you know it.”
“I think that last gap had got smaller,” Arthur said, not sulking in the slightest.
“Or someone had been eating all the Plankton.”
“That’s treason!”
“No it isn’t, it’s fact. I do a complete circuit of you every other Tuesday and it’s becoming really quite exhausting.”
Arthur tried to sneakily look at himself, but just ended up going in a circle because his neck didn’t bend that way. “I suppose Geoff is all muscle and...” Actually Arthur wasn’t sure what an enormo-squid might look like, he’d only ever seen small ones. “And tentacles,” he finished, since he definitely remembered tentacles.
“Well,” said Merlin, considering, “he is very streamlined.”
Arthur would have batted Merlin with a fin, but apparently his fin wasn’t long enough. There were many trials to being a Lord of the Sea. “Maybe you should go and annoy him then.”
“Maybe I should.”
“I’m sure I don’t care.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“I don’t!” Some more plankton drifted by, but Arthur just glared at it.
“Actually Geoff wants to meet you.”
“Well I don’t want to meet him!”
“He says he’s heard great things about you.”
There was a lengthy pause. “...Really?”
“So he says,” said Merlin, wafting himself down to give Arthur a soothing rub on his underbelly (he knew Arthur liked that, even if he pretended he didn’t). “I can’t imagine where from.”
If Arthur had been human, and not a whale, he would have sniffed. “There are plenty of fish who appreciate me.”
“Geoff was very impressed by your Quest for the Giant Clam,” said Merlin, apropos of nothing at all.
Some more plankton drifted by and this time Arthur ate some, thoughtfully. He was starting to think this Geoff fellow didn’t sound so bad after all. “Maybe I should meet him,” he offered magnanimously.
“What a good idea,” said Merlin.
“But I still don’t think he’s bigger,” Arthur said, firmly.
“Not in the size of his head, obviously,” said Merlin, as they set out once more.
The End.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 01:39 pm (UTC)Merlin the Most Irritating Barnacle in the Whole Wide Sea - Hee! Yep, I believe it.
“Arthur is a perfectly dignified name for a whale. It conveys a certain sense of kingliness and—”
“Blubber?” - Ahaha! I love cheeky!Barnacle Merlin so much.
“No it isn’t, it’s fact. I do a complete circuit of you every other Tuesday and it’s becoming really quite exhausting.” - *falls over* Even as a whale, Arthur is still conscious of his figure haha. And he's totally jealous of Geoff. Oh and I love that Merlin the Barnacle gives him belly rubs. So cute!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 07:37 pm (UTC)Arthur the Whale is VERY conscious of his figure. It's so hard to keep in shape when you're a whale and Arthur has been known to bemoan the lack of shiny surfaces under the sea to keep track of his trim shape. For a while he tried to organise daily training sessions for everyone, but the sharks kept trying to eat the smaller fish and Merlin led a Barnacle Rebellion because it was REALLY hard to cling on when Arthur was making all the whales roll around and flap their fins and work their tail muscles :D :D
Glad you enjoyed it!!!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 03:35 pm (UTC)HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING ON YOUR OTHER FIC? DON'T GIVE UP!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 07:39 pm (UTC)I have! But I got a bit dispirited with it yesterday so I haven't done any today. I promise I won't give up though! It just might take a while :(
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 05:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 07:43 pm (UTC)blubberweight ;) Luckily, Merlin's always there to mock him for it. Poor Arthur, no whale was ever so tortured by a barnacle :D :DGlad you enjoyed it!!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 07:03 pm (UTC)Ahaha at the tentacles & the size of his head, and the Quest for the Giant Clam!
On a grumpy note, I've been trying to get your journal to load for literally hours to find your fanfic link post and reread Destiny: the soggy part and I still haven't succeeded. :/ Oh, LJ, why so annoying?
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 07:19 pm (UTC)But, yeah, it took me since you posted your comment to finally get this page to load in a way I could reply to, and I can't get your journal to load at all. I sincerely doubt it's down to your journal, though. LJ's just slightly annoyed with me (one assumes!). ;D
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 07:47 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked Geoff the Enormo-Squid! Ven and I were discussing the innate hilarity of incongruous names. We also decided that Geoff has a brother called Eustace, the Equally Enormo-Squid :D :D
Merlin the Barnacle is not at all understanding sometimes, poor Arthur does suffer. Especially since he's so conscious of his less-than-svelte whale shape, but it's so hard to stay fit and toned when you're a whale!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 06:59 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading :)
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 11:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-19 02:32 am (UTC)I would give Arthur a comforting pat if I could breathe underwater. Poor darling. I love all the little things that Arthur can't do anymore as a whale. So hilarious. XD
I'm so happy that you wrote a sequel. :D
no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 07:04 pm (UTC)Yes, it has been a terrible trial finding out he's a different size and shape and he can't even eat a nice haunch of venison, not to mention glare at Merlin out of both eyes at the same time. The first thing he's going to do when he's human again is glare at Merlin PROPERLY. He's been imagining it and everything.
Thanks for reading!!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-19 07:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-19 07:33 am (UTC)i was in nz when they caught the ginormous squid, and i got to see her after they put her on display!
v. v. cute (er, both the squid and your fic ♥)
no subject
Date: 2011-01-19 06:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-24 04:56 am (UTC)