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magog_83Written for the kinkmeme prompt Arthur/Merlin: Every cat owner knows no-one owns a cat. Possibly slightly crackier than the prompter intended….
Also, in case anyone cares - I imagine Geoffrey as a large, bushy haired ginger tom cat. And very handsome of course :)
Wordcount: 1,822
Warnings: None except for silliness.
Summary: Modern AU in which Arthur has a pet cat called Geoffrey, who keeps a journal. Then Merlin moves in across the road. Yes, really.
The Journal of Geoffrey the Cat. Aged 3 years and 5 months.
Day 1,145 of my Captivity.
Boring day. Dug up Mrs-Next-Door’s petunias and then found a patch of sunlight in the hall of the Prison, but patch kept moving, which proved very tiring. My Keeper came back late and forgot my dinner. Climbed on his head and he remembered.
Day 1,148 of my Captivity.
Boring day. Spent morning snoozing. In the afternoon I continued at attempts to open the door. Still no success. Keeper brought me back fish, so I curled up on his lap to encourage further good behaviour.
Day 1,152 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Noticed activity at Mr-Over-The-Road’s with boxes and vans and That Dog running around all over the place, wagging its tail. My opinion of the species drops even lower. Stayed hidden under Mrs-Next-Door’s car for the afternoon. Fell asleep and Keeper had to come looking for me, his running around and shouting was really quite unnecessary.
Day 1,154 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. More activity outside the Prison. A new Mr-Over-The-Road has arrived. Climbed up on Mrs-Next-Door’s wall to watch but fell asleep. Will commence Observation tomorrow.
Day 1,155 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Commenced observation of the new Mr-Over-The-Road. He is very untidy and trips over things a lot. I sat on his back wall and he brought me milk and scratched my ears. I suspect he is planning to steal me. Decided to return to the Prison and await my Keeper just in case. Keeper seemed pleased (he is a simple creature) and I allowed him to pick me up.
Day 1,157 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Keeper is acting very strangely. He did not go to work today (he does this twice a week that I have Observed) and later I caught him talking to the new Mr-Over-The-Road. I suspect this is part of Mr-Over-The-Road’s plan. I attempted to intervene but Mr-Over-The-Road succeeded in distracting my Keeper by patting my head (demeaning) and calling me handsome. Whilst I continue to question his motives, his judgement appears to be sound.
Day 1,161 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Continued observation of Mr-Over-The-Road from the safety of his garden. Cover proved insufficient and Mr-Over-The-Road attempted to lure me inside with chicken. Noted that Mr-Over-The-Road gets up very late and sits down a lot. He calls this ‘writing’ but I am sceptical. Stayed so long that Keeper had to come and fetch me. This seemed to take a quite unnecessary amount of time, even though I was ready to leave. Had to remind Keeper three times to feed me when we returned to the Prison.
Day 1,164 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Distracted from attempts to open the door by Mr-Over-The-Road coming to the Prison. Mr-Over-The-Road said he had run out of milk but I was not fooled and hid under the table. Keeper gave him a bottle and let him stay in the kitchen for half an hour. I think Keeper must be very stupid.
Day 1,167 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. I left a dead bird on Mr-Over-The-Road’s front step as a Warning. He brought me tuna. I think Mr-Over-The-Road must be very stupid too.
Day 1,169 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Slept most of the morning. Spent afternoon observing Mr-Over-The-Road from his garden. Resisted further attempts to lure me inside. Mr-Over-The-Road tells me the ‘writing’ is not going well, he says my Keeper is very distracting. I would tell him that purring always sends Keeper to sleep, but I do not wish to encourage him.
Day 1,171 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Explored the cupboard under the stairs. Keeper acting strangely again and keeps looking at Mr-Over-The-Road’s house. I think he may suspect Mr-Over-The-Road’s plan. Sat on him most of the afternoon to prevent him being lured inside.
Day 1,172 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Slept on Keeper’s bed to make sure I wasn’t stolen. Keeper says it would be so much easier to be a cat. I do not think this can be true.
Day 1,174 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Forced to follow Keeper to Mr-Over-The-Road’s garden after Mr-Over-The-Road lured him inside with mince pies. Have noticed Mr-Over-The-Road looks at Keeper a lot. I begin to suspect he may be trying to steal him too. Made sure to get cat hair all over Mr-Over-The-Road’s jumper. Keeper told me off but Mr-Over-The-Road said he didn’t mind. I may have underestimated his cunning.
Day 1,177 of my Captivity.
Very tiring day. Had to fake illness after Keeper agreed to visit Mr-Over-The-Road again and tried to leave me behind. Plan proved most successful until Mr-Over-The-Road came to the prison instead and tried to take me and Keeper to the Vet. Was forced to revive and endure Keeper petting me all evening. Mr-Over-The-Road called me a brave cat. I coughed up a furball on his coat.
Day 1,178 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Keeper is still worried about me and Mr-Over-The-Road has visited twice to bring me chicken. While I cannot disapprove of this, I begin to fear Keeper may be becoming attached to Mr-Over-The-Road. Keeper tells me he doesn’t know what to do. I think we should move house.
Day 1,179 of my Captivity.
Very tiring day. My continued attempts to open the door came to unexpected fruition today when Keeper tried to leave me behind again. Followed him to Mr-Over-The-Road’s house and was forced to enter. Keeper seemed to be laughing a lot. Have not decided if this is a symptom of Attachment or impending insanity. Mr-Over-The-Road showed him his ‘writing’ which he says is only for ‘children’ although I could not find any in the house. Mr-Over-The-Road’s ears go a strange colour when Keeper laughs. I do not think this can be normal. Keeper didn’t leave until quite late and Mr-Over-The-Road watched him all the way back to the Prison. A worrying development.
Day 1,180 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Spent day in Mr-Over-The-Road’s house trying to discern his Secret Plan. Mr-Over-The-Road brought me more chicken, which I accepted as part of my Research. Learned Mr-Over-The-Road still cannot write . He says he needs to stop thinking about Keeper and start thinking of Ideas. I think this is a very good plan. Accidentally fell asleep on Mr-Over-The-Road’s desk but fortunately woke safely when Keeper came to get me.
Day 1,181 of my Captivity.
A black day. Keeper escaped from the Prison while I was asleep and went to Mr-Over-The-Road’s. I believe they have become Attached. Mr-Over-The-Road keeps holding Keeper’s hand and smiling but I fear it is the Smile of Victory. I have retreated to the cupboard under the stairs until it is over.
Day 1,182 of my Captivity.
A black day. Keeper is trying to lure me from my cupboard with fish but I am remaining Strong.
Day 1,183 of my Captivity.
A black day. Mr-Over-The-Road has come to the Prison to help Keeper but I showed him my tail. Keeper left me some food, but I waited until he was gone to eat it.
Day 1,184 of my Captivity.
A black day. Keeper says he is worried about me but he has to go to work. So he has left Mr-Over-The-Road to watch me. Mr-Over-The-Road tells me I am a very funny cat and that he wishes I would come back out because Keeper misses me. He says he misses me too, but I do not believe him.
Day 1,185 of my Captivity.
A black day. Mr-Over-The-Road watches me again but this time he brings things with him and says he is ‘drawing’ me. He shows me the ‘drawing’ and says I am the most handsome cat he has seen but I do not think he has done my tail justice. When Keeper comes home he brings me chicken and fish and sits by my cupboard with a warm blanket from the hot-cupboard at the top of the stairs. I almost come out.
Day 1,186 of my Captivity.
A strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road watches me all day and ‘writes.’ He says I have given him an ‘idea’ but I do not see how. It is cold in the cupboard and I begin to miss Keeper.
Day 1,187 of my Captivity.
A strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road is ‘writing’ again and says I will be a famous cat. I cannot see what he is doing from the back of the cupboard so I move forward to a warmer spot by the water pipe. Keeper seems pleased by this when he returns and brings me a blanket and some milk. Then he sits with Mr-Over-The-Road and Mr-Over-The-Road tells him about the adventures I will have. Some of them sound very tiring and I fall asleep listening to them talk.
Day 1,188 of my Captivity.
A strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road asks me if I would rather find buried treasure or get stuck in a tree. I think I would rather sleep in the warm patch in the hall but Mr-Over-The-Road is in the way. Later he shows me another ‘drawing’ and I think my tail is much better.
Day 1,189 of my Captivity.
A strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road says his ‘writing’ is finished and that one day everyone will get to see what a clever cat I am. Keeper seems very proud but he doesn’t smile as much as did when he and Mr-Over-The-Road became Attached. I do not think the cupboard is very comfortable anymore and I miss Keeper’s bed.
Day 1,190 of my Captivity.
A very strange day. Keeper sits by my cupboard again and says he misses me. He says I can’t be a famous cat and have adventures if I live under the stairs, and then he says that he wouldn’t care if I wasn’t famous if only I would come out. I think that Keeper looks tired and wonder if Mr-Over-The-Road is looking after him properly and if he knows about the purring or the warm spot on the pillow. But then, those things are things only a cat would know, so I come out and Keeper looks very surprised and then starts smiling and doesn’t stop – which makes him look very stupid indeed, but I forgive him because his pillow is very comfortable.
Day 1,191 of my Captivity.
A very strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road comes to the Prison and starts smiling at me too, which is most disconcerting. He says he has lots more adventures planned for me and will need to draw me a lot. He says he wants to get my tail exactly right so I suppose I will have to allow it. Keeper looks much happier this morning and I begin to think that he may need me around after all. Mr-Over-The-Road whispers that he’s glad I decided to come out because he didn’t know what to do with Keeper, and although I retain a healthy suspicion of his Intentions, I think that I may come to tolerate him in time.
The End.
Comments and concrit always welcome!
Also, in case anyone cares - I imagine Geoffrey as a large, bushy haired ginger tom cat. And very handsome of course :)
Wordcount: 1,822
Warnings: None except for silliness.
Summary: Modern AU in which Arthur has a pet cat called Geoffrey, who keeps a journal. Then Merlin moves in across the road. Yes, really.
The Journal of Geoffrey the Cat. Aged 3 years and 5 months.
Day 1,145 of my Captivity.
Boring day. Dug up Mrs-Next-Door’s petunias and then found a patch of sunlight in the hall of the Prison, but patch kept moving, which proved very tiring. My Keeper came back late and forgot my dinner. Climbed on his head and he remembered.
Day 1,148 of my Captivity.
Boring day. Spent morning snoozing. In the afternoon I continued at attempts to open the door. Still no success. Keeper brought me back fish, so I curled up on his lap to encourage further good behaviour.
Day 1,152 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Noticed activity at Mr-Over-The-Road’s with boxes and vans and That Dog running around all over the place, wagging its tail. My opinion of the species drops even lower. Stayed hidden under Mrs-Next-Door’s car for the afternoon. Fell asleep and Keeper had to come looking for me, his running around and shouting was really quite unnecessary.
Day 1,154 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. More activity outside the Prison. A new Mr-Over-The-Road has arrived. Climbed up on Mrs-Next-Door’s wall to watch but fell asleep. Will commence Observation tomorrow.
Day 1,155 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Commenced observation of the new Mr-Over-The-Road. He is very untidy and trips over things a lot. I sat on his back wall and he brought me milk and scratched my ears. I suspect he is planning to steal me. Decided to return to the Prison and await my Keeper just in case. Keeper seemed pleased (he is a simple creature) and I allowed him to pick me up.
Day 1,157 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Keeper is acting very strangely. He did not go to work today (he does this twice a week that I have Observed) and later I caught him talking to the new Mr-Over-The-Road. I suspect this is part of Mr-Over-The-Road’s plan. I attempted to intervene but Mr-Over-The-Road succeeded in distracting my Keeper by patting my head (demeaning) and calling me handsome. Whilst I continue to question his motives, his judgement appears to be sound.
Day 1,161 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Continued observation of Mr-Over-The-Road from the safety of his garden. Cover proved insufficient and Mr-Over-The-Road attempted to lure me inside with chicken. Noted that Mr-Over-The-Road gets up very late and sits down a lot. He calls this ‘writing’ but I am sceptical. Stayed so long that Keeper had to come and fetch me. This seemed to take a quite unnecessary amount of time, even though I was ready to leave. Had to remind Keeper three times to feed me when we returned to the Prison.
Day 1,164 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Distracted from attempts to open the door by Mr-Over-The-Road coming to the Prison. Mr-Over-The-Road said he had run out of milk but I was not fooled and hid under the table. Keeper gave him a bottle and let him stay in the kitchen for half an hour. I think Keeper must be very stupid.
Day 1,167 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. I left a dead bird on Mr-Over-The-Road’s front step as a Warning. He brought me tuna. I think Mr-Over-The-Road must be very stupid too.
Day 1,169 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Slept most of the morning. Spent afternoon observing Mr-Over-The-Road from his garden. Resisted further attempts to lure me inside. Mr-Over-The-Road tells me the ‘writing’ is not going well, he says my Keeper is very distracting. I would tell him that purring always sends Keeper to sleep, but I do not wish to encourage him.
Day 1,171 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Explored the cupboard under the stairs. Keeper acting strangely again and keeps looking at Mr-Over-The-Road’s house. I think he may suspect Mr-Over-The-Road’s plan. Sat on him most of the afternoon to prevent him being lured inside.
Day 1,172 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Slept on Keeper’s bed to make sure I wasn’t stolen. Keeper says it would be so much easier to be a cat. I do not think this can be true.
Day 1,174 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Forced to follow Keeper to Mr-Over-The-Road’s garden after Mr-Over-The-Road lured him inside with mince pies. Have noticed Mr-Over-The-Road looks at Keeper a lot. I begin to suspect he may be trying to steal him too. Made sure to get cat hair all over Mr-Over-The-Road’s jumper. Keeper told me off but Mr-Over-The-Road said he didn’t mind. I may have underestimated his cunning.
Day 1,177 of my Captivity.
Very tiring day. Had to fake illness after Keeper agreed to visit Mr-Over-The-Road again and tried to leave me behind. Plan proved most successful until Mr-Over-The-Road came to the prison instead and tried to take me and Keeper to the Vet. Was forced to revive and endure Keeper petting me all evening. Mr-Over-The-Road called me a brave cat. I coughed up a furball on his coat.
Day 1,178 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Keeper is still worried about me and Mr-Over-The-Road has visited twice to bring me chicken. While I cannot disapprove of this, I begin to fear Keeper may be becoming attached to Mr-Over-The-Road. Keeper tells me he doesn’t know what to do. I think we should move house.
Day 1,179 of my Captivity.
Very tiring day. My continued attempts to open the door came to unexpected fruition today when Keeper tried to leave me behind again. Followed him to Mr-Over-The-Road’s house and was forced to enter. Keeper seemed to be laughing a lot. Have not decided if this is a symptom of Attachment or impending insanity. Mr-Over-The-Road showed him his ‘writing’ which he says is only for ‘children’ although I could not find any in the house. Mr-Over-The-Road’s ears go a strange colour when Keeper laughs. I do not think this can be normal. Keeper didn’t leave until quite late and Mr-Over-The-Road watched him all the way back to the Prison. A worrying development.
Day 1,180 of my Captivity.
Tiring day. Spent day in Mr-Over-The-Road’s house trying to discern his Secret Plan. Mr-Over-The-Road brought me more chicken, which I accepted as part of my Research. Learned Mr-Over-The-Road still cannot write . He says he needs to stop thinking about Keeper and start thinking of Ideas. I think this is a very good plan. Accidentally fell asleep on Mr-Over-The-Road’s desk but fortunately woke safely when Keeper came to get me.
Day 1,181 of my Captivity.
A black day. Keeper escaped from the Prison while I was asleep and went to Mr-Over-The-Road’s. I believe they have become Attached. Mr-Over-The-Road keeps holding Keeper’s hand and smiling but I fear it is the Smile of Victory. I have retreated to the cupboard under the stairs until it is over.
Day 1,182 of my Captivity.
A black day. Keeper is trying to lure me from my cupboard with fish but I am remaining Strong.
Day 1,183 of my Captivity.
A black day. Mr-Over-The-Road has come to the Prison to help Keeper but I showed him my tail. Keeper left me some food, but I waited until he was gone to eat it.
Day 1,184 of my Captivity.
A black day. Keeper says he is worried about me but he has to go to work. So he has left Mr-Over-The-Road to watch me. Mr-Over-The-Road tells me I am a very funny cat and that he wishes I would come back out because Keeper misses me. He says he misses me too, but I do not believe him.
Day 1,185 of my Captivity.
A black day. Mr-Over-The-Road watches me again but this time he brings things with him and says he is ‘drawing’ me. He shows me the ‘drawing’ and says I am the most handsome cat he has seen but I do not think he has done my tail justice. When Keeper comes home he brings me chicken and fish and sits by my cupboard with a warm blanket from the hot-cupboard at the top of the stairs. I almost come out.
Day 1,186 of my Captivity.
A strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road watches me all day and ‘writes.’ He says I have given him an ‘idea’ but I do not see how. It is cold in the cupboard and I begin to miss Keeper.
Day 1,187 of my Captivity.
A strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road is ‘writing’ again and says I will be a famous cat. I cannot see what he is doing from the back of the cupboard so I move forward to a warmer spot by the water pipe. Keeper seems pleased by this when he returns and brings me a blanket and some milk. Then he sits with Mr-Over-The-Road and Mr-Over-The-Road tells him about the adventures I will have. Some of them sound very tiring and I fall asleep listening to them talk.
Day 1,188 of my Captivity.
A strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road asks me if I would rather find buried treasure or get stuck in a tree. I think I would rather sleep in the warm patch in the hall but Mr-Over-The-Road is in the way. Later he shows me another ‘drawing’ and I think my tail is much better.
Day 1,189 of my Captivity.
A strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road says his ‘writing’ is finished and that one day everyone will get to see what a clever cat I am. Keeper seems very proud but he doesn’t smile as much as did when he and Mr-Over-The-Road became Attached. I do not think the cupboard is very comfortable anymore and I miss Keeper’s bed.
Day 1,190 of my Captivity.
A very strange day. Keeper sits by my cupboard again and says he misses me. He says I can’t be a famous cat and have adventures if I live under the stairs, and then he says that he wouldn’t care if I wasn’t famous if only I would come out. I think that Keeper looks tired and wonder if Mr-Over-The-Road is looking after him properly and if he knows about the purring or the warm spot on the pillow. But then, those things are things only a cat would know, so I come out and Keeper looks very surprised and then starts smiling and doesn’t stop – which makes him look very stupid indeed, but I forgive him because his pillow is very comfortable.
Day 1,191 of my Captivity.
A very strange day. Mr-Over-The-Road comes to the Prison and starts smiling at me too, which is most disconcerting. He says he has lots more adventures planned for me and will need to draw me a lot. He says he wants to get my tail exactly right so I suppose I will have to allow it. Keeper looks much happier this morning and I begin to think that he may need me around after all. Mr-Over-The-Road whispers that he’s glad I decided to come out because he didn’t know what to do with Keeper, and although I retain a healthy suspicion of his Intentions, I think that I may come to tolerate him in time.
The End.
Comments and concrit always welcome!
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-19 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-19 11:42 pm (UTC)Thanks for your comment!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-20 07:19 am (UTC)THIS. ♥ THIS HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME. Oh, you wonderful, wonderful person. This brightened my day so much. The cat!POV is hilarious and perfect and how the hell do you know so well what cats are thinking? Mine is a complete enigma, except when it's feeding time. YOU. ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 09:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 03:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 03:27 pm (UTC)I left a dead bird on Mr-Over-The-Road’s front step as a Warning. He brought me tuna. I think Mr-Over-The-Road must be very stupid too.
I love it :-)
aww
Date: 2009-12-28 03:28 pm (UTC)They are mysterious creatures :)
no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 03:32 pm (UTC)I could not stop smiling all the way through. I love 'Mr-Over-The-Road's' evil plan, and him and 'Keeper' becoming 'Attached' The cat POV is just priceless, love it ridiculous amounts! Just perfect. Geoffrey was amazing, his journal of his days in 'captivity' Love that Merlin is writing a picture book about him having lots of adventures. Brilliant!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 03:36 pm (UTC)ADORABLE!!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 03:50 pm (UTC)Cats are awesome. :D
no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 04:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 05:30 pm (UTC)The way that people will tell a pet things that they would never say out loud to someone else really worked :)
Of course you left me smiling which is half the reason I automatically click on your links because I know they will leave me feeling happy :) Thank-you.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 05:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 05:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 07:45 pm (UTC)And so true. SO TRUE. You obviously have had cats before, because lines like this are just--
My Keeper came back late and forgot my dinner. Climbed on his head and he remembered.
and
my Keeper by patting my head (demeaning) and calling me handsome. Whilst I continue to question his motives, his judgement appears to be sound.
so freaking hilarious and kitty like.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 08:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 08:32 pm (UTC)"Whilst I continue to question his motives, his judgement appears to be sound"
And a bit vain, lol! I love this, it's absolutely adorable.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-28 10:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-29 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-29 06:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-29 08:56 am (UTC)I love the cat's POV, and how biased he is. Merlin knowing how to win him over and being inspired by him was brilliant! ^+^
no subject
Date: 2009-12-29 04:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-29 06:14 pm (UTC)Thanks again!!